#''his name is poop and hes a single celled organism'' | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

the-firebird69 · 5 years ago

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Pyramids

Each has a name

They are special to us very special. We keep it a secret throughout the duration

We're on them like stink on s*** we have 50000 heading our way white stinky Little ships and I'll take them out and other saying they figured it out when it doesn't matter they sent so many before and we wonder why they keep saying that then we figured out something they think we're dumb then think we arent and they think we're dumb then they get hit.

Use all manner of super computer and make a computer to correct the spelling changes they make okay I'll do it constantly that's if it's going to try and save them or help them make things work they think they are going to make progress by exposing themselves.

huge differences in language and etiquette between us and them they have practically no use for plain English and caught boring and useless went around all day long speaking in mementos and code even talking about working when what they're dealing with his crappy materials crappy weapons and weapons that don't exist but not theirs and they won't be and they can't even control themselves at all when they hear it the ridiculous people who can understand what they're talking about this you know code then they want you to get absorbed into it for us to get repulsed because it's disgusting most of what they do is wasting time then all of a sudden they say what they're doing cuz they're saying it and we realize that it's kind of a tough technique but it's not that tough but it's small enough going to be small when you're small and you have a huge Force watching you that's organized like ours cuz you're forced us to get organized she forced him to train to do it so if you're committing suicide which is really what you're doing you can monitor people quite easily kill them remotely without using any weapons the psychically and we do that a lot and we're expecting you to lose shortly completely once you do you're all going to fall down here I never get out it would be hilarious to us until he refused to tapes when he finds out that other people are suffering like him because you're disgusting repulsive aaronic losers who live in act as animals your behavior is almost exactly like animals it's just that you mimic and copied people and you're losing that you're walking around like animals when is it's feeding time when do I have to poop plus if you have that kind of look on your face where is he's trying to avoid you and is healing and is running around getting things going and he's running shows and he's ordering US troops around and is gaining momentum and he's getting troops and is disabling all of your weaponry doomsday where you just wandering around trying to scavenge for your next bomb or your next meal or place to stay for an hour or day like fragrance and bums it was like poppers don't care what he's living like because you're not intellectuals you don't understand what it can do even though most of you watched him his whole life too ridiculous to him we found out that it's you people annoying everybody the people here so going through you like crap through a goose tons of you came out to see the pyramids and I have for you it's about a trillion the others are from other places of ratios acceptable you've been doing is this hiding there ruining everyone's life sacrificing them thinking you're going to win something by doing it and doing no work sitting here thinking of the riders of the storm if nauseous Lee stupid tells you point blank we're just going to come here and kill out with you this is going to look at when you can't figure it out it's cleaning speaking code since I won't speak in code I'll go around circles for thousands of years saying nothing and I'll get her to like you use us wimps who die young usually.

And another thing stop trying to change reality by messing up the words every week until that you messed them up nothing is spelled right usually nothing is phrase correctly and he looks back and almost all of it is you idiots tampering with it physically or having us do stuff and it pays us cuz we see you didn't see why we see what you want on your way and you can't figure that out what do you say is why don't you try something secrert like your actual spies do, it's too hard we won't let you to blow it off if you want to be this big fat assholes losers with huge moronic faces identify yourselves is 1/8 and you get hit immediately for driving around me or harassing me or trying to come in here and all your stuff gets exposed we have your cannons and your muscles are firing the night happy little douchebags your losing territory here.

Trying a little everyday I getting upset cuz you can't get anything done cuz you don't try the right stuff it's not good enough to help you survive sitting here is threatening me is you all do is a death sentance for all those here and I explained it and it's simple math and you don't get it.

I told you little show people I said you don't listen to it all your screw yourself so often so many times and you're hiding all these lovely secrets that you keep blabbing to other people or just cells what the hell are you doing it looked up winning her hair lyrics from using one of us we're trying to hurt you and we want you to stop what you're doing looks like that's why I'm doing what I'm doing everybody knows that you're freaking twin and a loser to go after you for what you're doing it pays us all the time only a Niger would do it you're doing so he looks up at up at me Hera, and it says we don't get what you're saying it's not clear to us so I sent it again to their language over and over several different ways we do things over and says this is your way of doing things then I said you die every time so he said no we don't I said yes you do I have proof I don't want to send it to you I'd rather have you died what you are doing is annoying as to kill you and your ridiculous.

He's coughed and said well if it's true it's ridiculous when I said was it's ridiculous you're a bunch of buffoons nobody ever has done this this way in history you elected two idiots you're all following idiots idiots don't do things correctly are there an idiot or you're falling the round circular cover they expose you at every turn and every day every dive every day every waterway every river every desert every road every move that you make during the day and anyway they're opening their mouths and grabbing you can see them doing it right there

He said to me Hera we don't know what we're doing wrong and we can't see them doing it if you could tell us please let us know so it sounds like you're retarded and you don't understand what you're doing wrong he said yes I don't get it you're the news internationally globally and on the local level telling every single person your competitors all sorts of things about your nuclear bombs as a fade clear or poignant threat they show up on your doorstep at the news place and cut your head off as soon as you leave the desk.

he said wow that's descriptive I say I don't care for your retard s*** or your retards your verbiage in your talk and it nasty f****** way if you want to die and don't care just continue being an a****** to me and everybody else there's plenty of people who want to take their money back so go away take your stupid f****** self and crap yourself to death with stir a****** so he smiled and said it's true but we can't stop then we said we're going to kill all of you your morons and we can't stand you at all and we see what your people are saying they don't care if they die they want you dead what we say is we want you dead we must make you dye your repulsively stupid you can't find us you can't fight us you can't figure out what invisibility is it's right on your cell phone you freaking moron.

not even sure why you get out of bed in the morning you're so freaking stupid you're in the way of everybody trying to survive because you've had me raising a huge for us to get rid of you and your a****** idiots who I thought was everybody who's a Satanist you freaking moron turns around arms around says shut up to me Hera. So I said to him know we're going to follow you around and collect all your people and kill them in front of you.

He said that's great and I hear this you deserve it it's your free gift so he went around collecting people told him all sorts of stuff to do, things has this we don't have time to handle this so I grab them right away thrown into captivity so I killing all the stupid people in front of him his kids as wife so this is nice we said you're a f****** a****** even in captivity your f****** moron we're going to torture you until you die permanently even if we try to revive you because we want to do it to you so we started doing any starts screaming I don't want to talk to me I should so what so I kept doing it and doing it and doing it finally said this we can't shut up we think we have everything was stupid but we say is we've killed trillions and trillions of you and we show you and you're too stupid to understand it it's your people dying and you used to hold us in check with it hours leave we told you that so he says we can't figure it out so I started to think of something you're so dumb that I can't stand talking to you you're so stupid that I don't understand why you're so stupid and I asked my Father and he said this listen to the exact words they're saying and try and process that and you'll understand it so I did and says this we're trying to steal all your stuff and don't want you to know and then I told the guy we know about that what you're doing is counterproductive to that tell us what to say so no that's ridiculous you're pissing us off again is it worth trying to piss you off because when people are angry they tend to not understand what they're doing and I should we know that you're angry us we get stronger meaner larger much more powerful it works incredibly strangely on him he becomes this massive God, is almost too powerful for us because of you idiots every time I turn around it's got a new weapon system when he invites everybody in and we go in and we understand what he's doing and we help him control and rubbed it all because of you once again you're imbiciles you trust me it says shut up I said don't say that. He kept on blithering so I played his thoughts back to him, it sounded like a moron cuz he is one and it thoughtd sounded like this, I can't help it my father's on my case I don't know what to do we screwed everything up so badly he keeps yelling at us these people keep yelling at us these things are so big and so huge will never defeat them. Then I hear this in a teeny voice from his head we have to stop talking nothing that we say is helping and we can't so I played it back to the guy over and over he finally says this it's true we can't stop talking and it's ruining us then answer this again we know why you think that we know why you do it it's painfully obvious so obvious that your rigmarole is a waste of your time all the time he said this if you think it's something else let us know we said oh sure that's what we think and he said oh then we said it's definitely a major concern

and we leave it out sick and said this is what we do we seek out every single doomsday that you have or are planning and all of your doomsday supplies we seek it out in houses in small sheds in shacks underground in big buildings in store houses everywhere on Earth we read everything I will scan for everything and we interview practically everybody from a city where to find the same thing what are these loud mouth harrigan stupid suckers that you looking for we won't stop talking because we're not so bright and we're more or less animals and I figured out what he saying let's just get rid of them as fast as possible the faster we get rid of him the less trouble and danger going to be in they don't have time to build this soon enough time to go that they're not organized well enough they don't talk to each other they don't count how many wmds you have you don't count how many doomsday they have they don't know if the neighbors doing DOOMSDAY or not they simply don't know. I'll find what they say to be fascinating now just sitting there looking at each other going we don't understand what we did and said you're stupid you told us you're not dying together you told us that you don't have a system that works and knowing what each other is doing and that's a weakness none of you care what's happening to other people now y'all a bunch of animals that I wanted to die and watch others die thinking you can grab stuff because you're massively argant for some reason nobody really can figure out why.

Then they start using debit as swear words and kids talk so ignoring I said this we're going to clean you out hear every night and every day over and over and over till they stop coming I'm going to get rid of them all over the world how do you feel about that they said your dead

I said no you are started whacking him in front of the other ones and then they all started yelling and see if you don't start yelling stop yelling if you do not stop yelling stop yelling we will kill all of you so they started yelling we killed them all left one he asks why leave me alive

We said because we tell them we're going to do this if you do that then they do it and we kill them and we don't know why they're doing that he said it's obvious if they're dead they can't tell you everything so we have a device to record your brain and he said we can't believe that. I said your kind of insane because if we didn't have it we don't have to kill he starts laughing you think you're weak-willed because you kill us when you have a machine that you can record a song suite look like total mass of idiots. Then I said that's why we're calling you massive idiots what you should be doing this what he said hardly any of you picked it up most of you are very stupid and have been so for a long time you're like suckling pigs you have been so for quite a while and in numbers that are grossly huge and said you're correct it's a waste of time to talk to us. the higher-ups wanted to use it to hide and they did for some time and now it is failing them so many people know and talk and spew things to this look since you're going to kill me anyway just wanted to tell you this it says f off and then I said well you already told me what I needed to know and that everybody's looking for so that's pretty much it you're all stupid you're so stupid you just connected your leader is an idiot and won't connect anyone the morons running around and say they're winning because one thing or another we find every time they do. Is it going to just kill me so I did then I'm thinking to myself these people are so ridiculous that we've been wasting time talking to them and he knew it so he created the device where I can't stand is every stupid a******* in my planet is going to want to know what I'm thinking all the time so you have to live like this to a degree because of all you stupid freaking assholes because they can just go in there and find out what was thinking pretty much extremely accurately which is not really that fair and it's dangerous so we have to ask you do you think that you're going to survive after approaching a group like ours and fueling us handing us all your stuff telling us all your weaknesses one of us knowing you sent us two different planets Armenians to a point where we can destroy the planet a million times even if you try and escape we have a network up there to destroy you with and you still run around like we're nothing and see where nothing your hokey as hell hokie hokey as hell you're extremely stupid I have no way of expressing it anymore and that's what he said I was living in was in my whole life watching them ring getting information and now I don't understand why they are dumber than an empty box of tissues it's like relating to a dead horse okay so you're going to sit there and rot away when they're alive it's very weird we found it to what he says is they're bluffing like hell and won't stop bluffing they existed this way for a long time

They won't stop doing we have to clear this area every night to make sure there's no device in there the core etc but he says could be cuz they said you're sitting in the morning so we do here I would do it all over the place we have to nail everything else that we can't reach we're finding out something you can put a bunch of dumb assholes sitting there laughing about it you can see us bombing the living s*** out of you can see that we keep up with it we pull every single one of you and it says you can't an interview you question you and interrogate you and get it all there's never a satisfactory answer for your behavior I will tell you this he fed you some of it and you took it and ran because you want to blame him for a bad attitude that we could care less for and his attitude is not that bad with you but yours is atrocious your massive massive massive assholes assholes to the freaking hills none of your own can stand any of you hear she's going to die tonight all of you because they're sick and tired of hearing you talk in sick of your faces and tired of your a****** sick routine time your s*** talk your s*** face your ass faces your ass walk the whole f****** routine bunch of lazy ass pieces of crap expecting a free gift for treating a bad tree goes bad you don't dead or come in there and kill you now

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todaynewsstories · 6 years ago

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Food, farming and sustainability: What future in post-Brexit UK? | Environment| All topics from climate change to conservation | DW

In the hallowed halls of Westminster, the British government has been dreaming up a golden vision of sustainability for British agriculture post-Brexit.

Despite positive hopes for this vision by the Soil Association, which certifies organic food in the United Kingdom and lobbies for sustainability, the group’s policy officer Sam Packer is skeptical: “The British government is seeing agriculture as an opportunity to tell a good story about Brexit.”

And this happy tale, like everything else to do with Brexit, is still up in the air.

Read more: Will Brexit be bad for biodiversity in Britain?

On the sustainability front, the National Farmers’ Union of England and Wales (NFU) has teamed up with Greener UK (a coalition of environmental organizations, including The Soil Association) to make sure that Brexit works for farming and the environment.

With agriculture a powerful force in the UK — farmers manage more than 70 percent of the land area in England and Wales, according to the NFU — such alliances could shift the equation, particularly when trade is on the table.

Overthrowing the reign of CAP

Far from minister’s office in Westminster, on a windy hillside on the outskirts of Bristol, the enthusiasm for a brighter future has taken root with remain-voter Humphrey Lloyd.

Lloyd is the grower at Edible Futures, a smallholding that sells greens and herbs to the local community. He’s also the treasurer at The Landworkers’ Alliance, a union and campaign group representing the interests of small-scale and sustainable farmers.

Edible Futures is among shareholders who hope for payouts in post-Brexit Britain

As he plants spring onions, Lloyd calls Brexit a “unique political moment.”

The European Union’s Common Agricultural Policy (CAP) has dominated agricultural payouts since before Lloyd was born in 1985. Those payments neglect smallholdings like his own. He wants to get in on the action.

Packer, on the other hand, thinks that the UK’s 25-year environment plan, launched earlier this year, is evidence that the status quo will win.

He described the plan as including “lots of rhetoric, lots of good words and very little binding action.”

Still, he sees as positive the fact that now change is inevitable, organizations like his are being invited to the table.

Agroecology: The new buzzword

At that table, the concepts of “agroecology” and “agroforestry” are being pushed into mainstream agriculture.

Agroforestry involves using trees to prevent soil erosion, thus building up the health of the soil with organic matter that retains more water — and storing carbon from the atmosphere.

Healthy soil is a mantra being picked up even in industrial farming. The UK government aims to make soils healthy by 2030.

A bill including first-ever targets for soil health was introduced to parliament last March, and is expected to be published later in 2018.

Silent underground helpers

Half truths

The story goes that when an earthworm is split in two, both parts will live on. That’s not exactly right. Only the front of the worm can survive such a trauma. Even then, it doesn’t always make it. All of the worm’s vital organs are here but if too much of the gut is missing or the wound becomes infected, the half worm won’t recover.

Silent underground helpers

Conscientious composter

Worms satisfy their hunger with the remnants of dead plants. They also graze on bacteria, algae, single-cell organisms and fungal threads located in their tunnels. Because earthworms have no teeth, they compost organic material by sticking food to the walls of underground burrows and layering excrement over it. This creates a perfect environment for pre-digesting microorganisms.

Silent underground helpers

Soil stabilizers

The earthworm’s cast material – also known as worm poop – helps create good soil’s fine crumb structure. Each year, the animals will lay a 0.5 centimeter crumb layer on the soil surface. But if they are really industrious and conditions are right, it can be up to five centimeters. These casts are packed full of nutrients that provide food for fungi and help prevent soil erosion.

Silent underground helpers

Has an earthworm got a head?

Earthworms have a head and tail, although that may be hard to tell at first glance. If the animal is at reproductive age, a thick band, called a clitellum, is visible. The head is located closest to this band.

Silent underground helpers

Tiny tunnellers

An earthworm’s tunnel system is a big boon to the soil. It allows water to flow more quickly through the ground and provides ventilation. Plants also push their roots through the many, many tunnels created by earthworms. A 50-hectare farm can house up to 400,000 kilometers of underground passages.

Silent underground helpers

Dangers above ground

An earthworm’s true domain, as its name betrays, is underground. But at times, the animal is lured above ground by the vibration of raindrops hitting the earth’s surface. There, dangerous UV-light and hungry birds await.

Silent underground helpers

Prime plumbers

A ground without earthworms behaves like a blocked drain when it rains. Water can no longer flow down through the soil. Even the smallest amounts of water can cause flooding over time. However, when worms are present and working diligently, soil can deal with the intake of water and surplus liquid ends up in springs and wells.

Silent underground helpers

Close quarters

The number of earthworms living in the soil depends on how the land is cultivated. In monocultures, where many machines and pesticides are used, you’ll find around 30 animals per square meter. But the same amount of soil on a farm that practices multi-cropping can contain up to 120 animals. In optimum conditions, up to several hundred of the invertebrates may be working silently underground.

Sustainability laggard Britain

For Ped Asgarian, the manager of organic outfit The Community Farm in Somerset, Brexit certainly will not be the bright gate to a green future.

While sitting at a busy pub in Chew Magna, in the south of England, he notes with irony that as Europe has sought to become more environmentally oriented for years, “the one nation that has been really holding them back is us.”

He sees the EU as forcing sustainability onto the UK “because our soil is vanishing fast, our biodiversity is vanishing fast, and our soil health is degrading so much.”

Read more: Soil: More than just dirt

Packer agrees that Britain could just as easily have made changes from within the EU — such as localizing food systems and moving away from industrial farming, including from the import-export methods upon which it currently relies.

France, for example, recently announced a commitment for 50 percent of food supplied to the public sector to be produced locally.

“The message that we can achieve more outside [the EU] can, in some ways, be unpicked through that story,” Packer points out.

Farming in Britain: Not always the paragon of sustainability

The realities of eating local

Eating locally grown produce is not an easy prospect, given the cool UK climate.

Asgarian, who runs a box scheme selling fruit and vegetables to 450 local households a week, notes that not everything in the box comes from the farm’s 22 acres (8 hectares).

They grow about 30 percent of what they sell, and rely upon a network of other local growers.

“We also work with a couple of larger farms in the north and east of England, because getting enough produce year-round is quite difficult,” he says.

They even have to import some items to keep their customers satisfied.

Read more: Would you eat local for a week? I tried, and discovered what eating green really means

Nor can the UK rely solely on domestic sales. Currently, it exports 40 percent of its lamb, 80 percent of its dairy and 75 percent of its wheat and barley to the EU.

This is why groups like the NFU have been pushing for tariff-free and frictionless trade to continue.

Despite all the challenges, people like Lloyd continue dreaming.

“The history of political change is the history of hopeful people doing what they can,” he says as he makes drills for his next line of onions. “We need to hope, we need to work hard and we need to believe.”

Lloyd continues to be convinced that “we can win quite a simple battle against corporate industrial agriculture in favor of something sustainable and fair.”

The post Food, farming and sustainability: What future in post-Brexit UK? | Environment| All topics from climate change to conservation | DW appeared first on Today News Stories.

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velsizfiction · 6 years ago

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Lugubrious - Chapter 3

archived here (AO3) and here (FF.NET)

Lugubrious

Invader_Vel

Chapter 3

Chapter Text

Lugubrious By Vel

Part 3

Zim hissed and glared down at the small burn on his finger. Normally he wouldn’t have even noticed such an injury, but with the diminished healing function in his PAK he now felt everything, the ache in his back from sleeping on the kitchen floor, the tired neck from being hunched over his task for the last several hours, and now a burn when his hands were already fatigued.

The parts he had managed to pull from the Irken computer along with several other electronic parts he had taken from various machines were spread out on the table before him. He had been trying to combine them into something he could work with until he could acquire more sophisticated parts, but for now just having internet access would be a good start.

He picked up the soldering iron again finding it had powered off. He jiggled the wire he had used to rig it to a battery pack and the small red light flickered then stayed lit allowing him to continue his work.

Exhaustion and lack of light finally forced him to stop for the night and he slid from the chair into the pile of clothing he had started sleeping in as a way to reserve strength. The sofa would have been far more comfortable but he didn’t want to use up his reserves trying to move between the two rooms when everything he currently needed was in the kitchen.

He woke with the sun the next morning and he started his day by filling his belly, purposefully ignoring how little food was left before going back to work on the computer. There were quite a few human foods he could eat and he had figured out how to safely touch and drink water, so he wouldn’t starve when he ran out of snacks, but he needed the computer to access the bank account that held his Earth money.

He had created the account after the whole ‘Santa’ fiasco using the names he had given the parent robots. Compared to building his human identity, making a bank account have been ridiculously simple, the funds were in such tiny amounts from so many places that so far no one had noticed anything amiss and appeared on the statements as direct deposit pay checks.

In all honesty he didn’t even know how much money was in the account now. Whenever he needed something he just told the Computer and the next day or so there was a package on the porch. On occasion he used the ATM to get money but he had only done it a few times.

The computer had been controlling the account on his behalf ever since it was created and Zim really hadn’t used it that much, but now that the computer was down he was worried the bank might notice that the checks were no longer coming in.

The sooner the computer was running the better, and he was so close to having something that worked, he could feel it.

He worked for hours taking no notice of his bodily needs as the day progressed; he had tested and retested his computer nearly a dozen times and as evening approached he was ready to shove it away in frustration.

It should work.

His was slumped over with his cheek pressed to the table top when his eyes fell on the box Gir was nestled in. Determination coursed though him and he sat upright again, taking a deep breath he pulled the computer closer and started the testing sequence again.

*beep beep*

“Yes!” he shouted as the device booted up and information scrolled across the small screen. With hope he would be able to get some of the work he needed done before the battery pack gave out since there was a very real chance it might not boot up again if the power went out.

A dialogue box appeared on the screen, * Hello sir *

Zim typed frantically, “Computer, order everything I will need in order to reconnect you to the house. Use the funds from the parent’s account. Quickly, before your battery dies.”

The device whirred for a moment then beeped again, * Order complete sir. Delivery expected by noon tomorrow. *

Zim leaned back in his chair with a sigh; he allowed his eyes to rest for a moment before reaching out again. “Computer, I am also in need of food and water.” Another series of beeps sounded before new text appeared, * Grocery delivery 8am tomorrow morning. *

Zim moved to type a reply when the screen suddenly went black and he was plunged into darkness. He was truly beginning to hate the dark, and even more so the quite. He gently touched Gir’s box, which was sitting on the table away from the computer then slid from the chair into his nest of clothing.

‘Just one more night’ he told himself as he settled into sleep. Just one more night and he would have his computer back and hopefully have full use of his house again as well.

He woke to a loud knock on the door and sat up so quickly he nearly hit his head on the table. He got to his feet and managed to get to the doorway when he realized he didn’t have a disguise.

The knock sounded again.

“Just a moment!” he shouted as he looked around quickly. He was still only dressed in the pajama pants from two days ago and a pair of socks. He pulled a long sleeve shirt from his nest and put it on, and then spotting a towel he threw it over his head. It was the best he could do on such short notice, especially as it seemed like the delivery person was getting impatient.

“About time,” the guy snapped and held out a tablet for him to sign, then hardly gave him a chance to do it before snatching it away again. Then he was in his truck and gone without even looking at Zim.

“At least he left the food before he took off,” Zim said to himself as he crouched to pick up the first of two boxes. He managed to get them to the kitchen with surprising ease, considering how weak he had been for the past few days and took a few minutes sorting through them.

Inside he found two dozen small bottles of distilled water, a case of Classic Poop cola, and various individually wrapped pastries both sweet and savory.

He had been relieved to learn that it wasn’t actually the water that he had reacted to but the chemicals and other impurities in it, if the water was boiled, filtered several times, or distilled he could drink it without an adverse reaction. In a pinch he found that he could add natural sugar or honey to a liquid and it somewhat neutralized the reaction, though it usually took a lot of sugar. Prepared drinks like cola usually had enough sugar but it had to be regular and not diet as the artificial sweeteners actually made the reaction worse.

He had yet to find a way, other than covering himself in paste, to stop the burning effect of the rain.

He also learned that he could consume eggs and dairy as long as they were produced organically and without added hormones. Vegetables he could eat if he purchased them fresh and cleaned and prepared them himself reducing contamination from the impurities in the water. Most bread products he had no problem with at all and could eat then as is. Other than bread and pastries he avoided prepackaged and overly processed things as much as he could. The more additives, preservatives and chemicals added the less he was able to tolerate it.

However, he simply stored the information thinking he would never need it because the Tallest had always sent him all the sustenance he needed to power his R.E.S., but now that they stopped his supplies he was thankful he had taken the time a few summers ago to test what he could eat and what he could not.

With a sigh he opened one of the pastries a Poop cola and had his breakfast. There really wasn’t much more he could do until the computer parts arrived later that day. Food consumed he pillowed his head on his arms and stared at Gir’s box; he truly missed his noisy companion. Once he got the computer fully functional again and the house was repaired he could start work on Gir, and hopefully get him working again.

He must have dozed off for he woke the second time that day to someone pounding on the front door. Draping the towel over his head again he opened the door only to find the package on the step, the delivery person long gone.

Dragging it into the house he took a quick look outside then closed the door. The box was rather large and he struggled to lift it, only managing to carry it a few feet before dropping it on the living room floor again, pushing it the rest of the way to the kitchen.

He tore into it as soon as he got it close enough to his work station and got right to work on the computer. Now that he had both the proper parts and the proper tools it only took him a few hours to make the upgrades and the newly build computer booted up on the first try.

It still was nowhere near as sophisticated as the old one had been but it was enough to work with for now. Taking a moment he typed his immediate needs, electricity, water, and a bathroom, and then sent the request off. After a moment or two the Computer replied with instructions on how to continue.

Following the prompt he connected a cable to the computer then dragged it across the room plugging it into a port in wall near the fridge. Once the cable was securely connected on each end he ran the program.

As the audio function had not been installed on this device a loud beep alerted him as another dialogue box appeared on the screen, * insufficient power to reconnect water supply or reconfigure the structure *

“Can you localize the power usage to one point in the house and store it to a cell?”

* Negative, internal wiring has become damaged throughout the structure. To minimize risk of fire I can only restore electricity to this single port *

“Can’t you drain more from the neighbors?” He typed.

* No – alternate arrangements must be made *

He drummed his fingers on the table top before a though struck him, his fingers blurred as he typed out his idea.

* Probability of success – 80% * the Computer informed him.

“I’ll take it,” he said aloud as he dropped to his knees and began ripping through the crates that were lined up against the wall behind the table, he knew what he was looking for, he had seen it just a few days before when he was collecting parts for the computer, he just couldn’t remember which crate he had stored it in. “Where is it?” he mumbled, throwing things aside in his haste, not caring where they fell. He only had a few hours left in the day, he needed to get this set up as soon as possible if he were to have any chance of having a working bathroom today.

“Yes!” he hefted a cardboard box out of the crate and set it on the floor then he counted the contents still left in the large crate.

50. It wasn’t much, not by a long shot but it certainly could do the job if he rigged it right.

Going back to the computer he calculated how much stored energy the computer would need to reconfigure the house. Information scrolled across the screen and a few moments later he had his answer.

The 50 solar cells he had if assembled into two, 25 cell panels could fill a large storage device with sufficient energy to give the computer enough of a boots to get the changes made, if combined with the power he was leaching from the neighbors it would take approximately 18 hours to charge a storage cell with enough power to allow the computer to repair the house.

The storage cell would be completely shot afterwards but Computer was only going to have to fix the house once, so the system didn’t need to be permanent.

The hardest part would be setting up the newly fabricated panels outside. In his weakened state he would be difficult but not impossible.

Sifting through the clutter on the table he found his contacts and put them in, he hadn’t been able to find his wig, figuring it had been lost but he did have a hat so he put that on to hide his antennas. Then carrying as many as he could he hauled all of the solar cells outside. It took him several trips to move everything he needed out including snacks and drinks.

He sat in the shade of the house as he methodically worked on the temporary assembly; he saw none of his neighbors the entire time he was out. Apparently they were unconcerned by the noises that must have come from his house when the base was recalled. But considering everything that had happened in the area over the last several years he wasn’t surprised.

He forced himself to keep working, even as his vision blurred and his chin dropped to his chest when he could no longer hold his head up. His hands burned, covered in cuts and scratches but he was making progress. The sun was still high when he dragged the first panel around the front of the house, and attached it to the cable running through the window to the storage cell inside the house. The second panel went together faster than the first and soon it was attached to the cell as well. He shuffled wearily back into the house and checked the storage cell, to his relief the system was working and the percentage indicator showed that it already had a 2% charge.

With a sigh he dropped on to the couch and was asleep just moments later.

TBC...

#IZ Lugubrious #Invader Zim #ZADR #invader zim fanfiction

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andrewdrobins · 7 years ago

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The Bledsoe Show w/ Aaron Alexander: Cultivating Diversity Across the Board #71

Fine tuning your body, Fasting benefits, Diversity is healthy, Improve your body in the toilet, Conscious movements, and more.

[3:10] Fine tuning your body [7:55] Fasting benefits [13:30] Immunological momentum [18:40] Diversity is healthy

[27:10] Shape yourself layer after layer [40:10] Improve your body in the toilet [43:10] Conscious movements [55:40] Why everybody is talking about breath

Guest: Aaron Alexander

Aaron Alexander CR, LMT, CPT is an accomplished manual therapist and movement coach with over 13 years of professional experience. He is the founder of the Align Movement™, an integrated approach to functional movement and self-care that has helped thousands of people out of pain and into health.

Aaron also hosts the top-rated Align Podcast featuring the biggest names in movement and wellness. His clients include Hollywood celebrities, Olympic/professional athletes and everyone in between. He teaches workshops and speaks at events all over the world.

In this episode, we dive into why you sometimes need to remove supplements rather than add more, how diversifying your training and movements can improve your performance in your specific sports, why fasting is healthy for you, how eating poop can make you healthier, and much more.

Enjoy!

-Mike

P.S. This is Aaron’s third time on the show. Check out the other two episodes he was featured on: Aaron Alexander: Finding Flow and Feeling Connected #44 and Aaron Alexander on Language & Movement, Trauma Effects Posture #16.

Connect on social: Instagram, Facebook, YouTube

Resources: Align Podcast, Align Therapy

3:10

Fine tuning your body

A lot of supplement companies are targeting people who regularly drink sodas and other poor choices, which means they make supplements with at least some sugar, so the taste appeals to the masses. Some supplements have so much sugar, it’s better to avoid them completely. Aaron takes a protein powder that is so sweet he treats it as a dessert or “cheat” meal, and only does so every once in awhile.

People take supplements to improve their health and performance or fix an issue, but often times the solution is done by removing a supplement or food, rather than adding one.

“So often we wanna solve some type of physical problem or improve our performance or health by adding something, and most of the time it’s better to just remove something.” — Mike Bledsoe

7:55

Fasting benefits

Why is there so much hype about fasting in 2018? Because it’s great for you. Fasting has many benefits including better gut health, anti-aging, better muscular structure, improved tastebuds, and more.

When we’re fasting, there’s a process in our body called cellular autophagy. It’s a process that helps the body cut out the “shitty business” and focus on optimizing all functions to find food for survival.

Some people shy away from fasting because they don’t want to lose gains a.k.a muscle mass. What they don’t know, is that fasting can speed up moving their muscles to fire in the right direction. Fasting makes the body optimize everything, including movement. It means that your muscles would fire more efficiently, and in the long run, it will improve your movement patterns, help you avoid injuries, and open up opportunities to make bigger gains!

Did you know?

The longest fast recorded in history lasted 382 days! Where a 27 year old fasted under lab supervision and went from 456 pounds (~207 kg) to 180 pounds (~82 kg). He lost 276 pounds (~125kg) during his fast.

Five years after the fast ended, the patient’s weight has been constantly around the values of 196 pounds. A.B. had no ill symptoms during and after the fast.

13:30

Immunological momentum

Negligible senescence is is the lack of symptoms of aging in some organisms. There was a study that have shown increase negligible senescence by transplanting youthful poop in old fish. It has shown anti-aging benefits and has helped fish live longer by cleaning up their cells.

Research has also shown poop to be an effective medicine for humans, specifically for extreme colitis and bad infections, where patients healed by taking a poop pill called fecal microbiota transplant.

Scientists also agree that 90% of our body is made of bacteria that is not ours. In relation to us being bacteria, Ronnie Landis (episode 4), has brought up the term “immunological momentum”. It’s a concept where you’re not trying to kill anything in your body, else trying to build up as much positive momentum. So when bad bacteria arrives, you have enough positive bacteria to overstand it.

“We have this insecurity around bacteria, meanwhile you are probably much more than 90% bacteria.” — Aaron Alexander

18:40

Diversity is healthy

Diversity is healthy for physical movements, societal movements, and gut movements. Perhaps all kinds of movements. Diversifying your physical movements can make you more well rounded in life, as well as help your sport specificity.

It’s important to note, specificity is important and should be the main focus, but it’s only good up to a certain point. You need at strike a good balance of specific sport movements and some diversification to maximize your potential.

It’s common that big muscular people don’t perform well on slack lines and other balancing acts. They’re usually big because they have been focusing on their sport specificity, for example, doing many squats and deadlifts. What they don’t know is that they can get good at balancing on a slack line with only 5 minutes a day. It will not help them get better balance, but will also help build stronger feet, which are our base.

“Cultural diversity is what makes culture robust.” — Aaron Alexander

A post shared by Aaron Alexander (@alignpodcast) on May 10, 2018 at 10:54am PDT

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27:10

Shape yourself layer after layer

What’s really cool about us humans, is that we being shaped at every single moment. We are constantly being built and broken down by little cells at the same time, which means we have an opportunity and a responsibility.

We have both opportunity and responsibility to build a better machine, continually changing the structure of our bones, muscles, organs, etc. In order to build a sustainable, healthy machine, it’s important you don’t compare yourself to others.

Aaron Alexander is super athletic human, but he doesn’t expect to look like Jason Khalipa ever. He knows that’s not feasible for him. Aaron suggests you focus on improving yourself layer after layer.

“I watched the shape of my bones change over time.” — Mike Bledsoe

40:10

Improve your body in the toilet

I hope that by now you know that squatting makes a much better pooping experience than sitting at 90 degrees. If you don’t have a squatty potty yet, you better get yours ASAP. It will be the best gift you’ve gotten yourself in 2018 😉

Based on a study from Japan, the ideal pooping angle is when the hips are below 100 degrees to 126 degrees compared to the knees. Aaron Alexander says squatty potty is for amateurs, he takes pooping to the next level by squatting on the seat!

Pro tip: To help your t-spine rotation, try wiping your ass alternating hands. You do it so often, it will actually improve your overall movement patterns.

43:10

Conscious movements

Whenever you are moving, you need to be conscious about your movements. You can’t achieve high performance health and athleticism if you only squeeze your glutes before a big deadlift. You need to have constant awareness about applying good movement patterns, and be hip hinging every time you brush your teeth!

Besides hip hinging, you can make small conscious efforts to improve your movement patterns by hanging often, and squeezing pull up bars and bench press bars to improve your grip strength.

“A safe joint is a joint that doesn’t have a bunch of floppy slack. If a joint has a lot of room to move, then you’re asking for trouble.” — Aaron Alexander

A post shared by Aaron Alexander (@alignpodcast) on Mar 10, 2018 at 8:19am PST

55:40

Why everybody is talking about breath

Breath was the first movement of yoga. In the west, yoga gained popularity through yogis showing off complex body poses on social media. However the original yoga practice focused on breathing only. The poses were later invented to keep people busy and engaged, so they could learn how to control their breath.

NEW SEMINAR!

The Strong Coach — Applications are open now until May 18, 2018

The post The Bledsoe Show w/ Aaron Alexander: Cultivating Diversity Across the Board #71 appeared first on Shrugged Collective.

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windycityparrot · 7 years ago

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Birds That Work for Money - You Won't Believe Some of Their Jobs

The Police featuring Sting, one of my favorite artists (and groups) were singing a great little ditty the other day on satellite radio and it got me thinking. The name of the song was Canary In A Coal Mine. The theme of the song was "you live your life like a canary in a coal mine. We've all had friends like that, but I digress. For the unindoctrinated or too young to know about this, years ago caged canaries were brought down into coal mine shafts. They acted as the first warning sign that oxygen was being depleted and replaced with dangerous gases such as methane or carbon monoxide. Their method of warning the coal miners - was to die (in most cases). Believe it or not, canaries were still used in coal mines up until December 30, 1986. On that date a little over 200 birds were put out of work (with no benefits to draw on) and replaced with the latest and greatest carbon monoxide detectors. One company CanarySense.com makes all its detectors and canary yellow, kind of like paying homage to canaries. A dude known as the father of oxygen therapy named John Haldae was in fact his own best guinea pig in the mid-1800s. He studied oxygen rejuvenation and gas poisoning. He felt: "it could be safer using canaries or mice to detect gas in coal mines"..

Turns out that canaries need more oxygen and are more sensitive to toxic gases through their unique anatomy. Both the aforementioned gases have no color nor odor. If we were to breathe in carbon monoxide directly, it will bind to our red blood cells. Then this heinous gas will actually will prevent your hemoglobin's ability to carry oxygen resulting in feeling fatigue, chest pain and the inability to concentrate. (I find concentration elusive some times myself). Turns out canaries were a great choice because they reacted quickly to the gas. Some humane miners would even go as far as carrying small oxygen vials to revive the birds before returning with them to the surface. Better a canary than a miner, and so it went. The next time you see a lovely little canary singing his heart out you'll remember what it's ancestors withstood. The Canary thing then begged the question, what other birds have been put to use for tasks other than for our own enjoyment? Surely these amazing winged creatures must have a higher purpose in life other than spreading seed husks and bird poop over your living room floor. With carrier pigeons being used as far back as Julius Caesar I figured there had to be some other birds that could help pay the rent. Video - The Police - Dancing to "Canary In A Coalmine" (A Fanvid) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IqDlXUrpOAU So I did a little drilling and came up with some interesting profiles of working birds. One of the most notable working birds is the Cormorant. Cormorant fishing has been around since approximately 960 A.D. in both Japan and China. Raised from chicks these birds grow to be absolutely trained and to be subservient to a single fisherman.

First a little about their anatomy. Unlike other waterfowl like ducks, Cormorant's feathers contain no oil making them less buoyant. This allows them to dive rapidly which is handy if you chase fish for a living. Now here's where it gets interesting in a weird sort of way. The fishermen ties a line around the birds throat so it can't swallow the fish it captures. Once the fish is captured the bird is pulled back to the boat with a tether (we are currently out of Cormorant tethers :-). The fisherman pulls the fish from the bird and returns the bird back to the water. Mind you Cormorant fishermen do this with several birds and how they keeps the lines from getting tangled is beyond me. Cormorants are also known to be able to count. During the course of a night's work they are rewarded with a fish or two - the tether is loosened to allow them to swallow at this point. Because of their counting abilities, they have literally been known to strike until they get their fair share of "fish pay" for a days work Video - Cormerant - Fishing with birds! - Wild China - BBC https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JNEplaYZtpI No discussion about working birds is complete without talking about pigeons. Homing pigeons are renowned for their ability to return to their home as quick as possible even a thousand miles away! In World War II a pigeon named G.I. Joe was the only bird or animal in the United States to be awarded the Dicken Medal for bravery for saving more than 100 British soldiers. Today racing pigeons are a worldwide hobby. Pigeon racing is accomplished by taking a flock of pigeons to a point that has been precisely measured from their home.

Distances can be from 100 to 1000 miles. Traditionally, the birds wear rubber rings with unique serial numbers on their legs which are installed prior to a race. When the pigeon arrives home the trainer removes the ring and places it in a slot in a special pigeon racing clock. Today pigeon's speeds are clocked electronically with no need to install or remove any apparatus. Although their speeds are tracked in yards per minute it's remarkable to note that they can average speeds upwards of 100 mph. And if they don't get attacked by a bird of prey they had a great day racing. Years ago I had a friend that raced pigeons. It was an incredible site, his backyard in Gurnee, Illinois had a coop with about 100 pigeons. On that balmy summer day the pigeons were let loose and spent the day just circling his backyard. By the way what do you call a four-door pigeon coop (answer below)? In case you were wondering, racing pigeons can cost from less than $30 to more than $400,000. Adorn White Dove Release - training release on 10-08-2014, 3.75 miles. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LrC4baJ3DIA So how you turn an ability to find your way home at 100 miles an hour flying through the clouds into a paying gig? Let's rewind to a couple years ago - me - taking a phone call from somebody looking for "a bunch of doves". The response to my query was what I expected, they needed them for a wedding.

I politely pleaded ignorance hung up but I was totally indignant. How dare they want to take these innocent birds, release them in front of a bunch of people into unknown territory where they can crash into buildings, trees, and God knows what? I immediately wrote a blog post about and then I got an e-mail from someone who ran a company that "rented doves". Turns out my indignation was for naught! The organization http://www.white-dove-releases.com/ specializes in dove releases for ceremonies. If you check out any of their members you'll learn that the birds aren't "just" white Doves - they are pure white "Rock Doves" a.k.a. homing pigeons! The companies that release the birds are very particular in terms of not releasing them at night or in foul weather and so forth. They normally put a release distance of no more than 50 miles within a certain geographical area. Now you know. Oh and by the way if you're interested in knowing how homing pigeons find a way back home, here's some science that sheds light on this mysterious subject https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=LtngCRvVj9Q#! I have 16mm footage (which make me feel old) of me holding parrots at Parrot Jungle now called Jungle Island, when I was 5 making the place really old - it was actually founded in 1935. It's one of the few places in the United States that you cannot only look at the animals but you can hold the animals. Video - Visiting Jungle Island in Florida https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1rpnwKAfqFo Then there's Parrot Mountain and Gardens which of all places is in Parrot Forge, Tennessee. Here you can visit the bird garden with more than 70 birds of mixed species, a Lory aviary were you can have Lories sip nectar from your hand then visit a baby bird nursery where you can pet the babies and watch them being hand fed. If your budget doesn't allow you to travel to these bird filled parks you could always stay home and watch videos on YouTube for free. One of the most entertaining display of bird tricks done by professional birds in front of a large audience (for money) that I know and isn't Macaws or Amazons. It's this amazing group of Budgies. If you've been following us for any length of time you may have seen this before but I never get tired of it - enjoy! written by mitch rezman approved by catherine tobsing your zygodactyl footnote Norman Barrett - Dressage Perruches LE PLUS GRAND CABARET DU MONDE https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=491ckTu9948 Click to Post

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ezatluba · 7 years ago

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How Fly Guts Are Helping Researchers Catalog the Rainforest

These tiny, buzzing lab assistants provide scientists with a treasure trove of conservation data

Kyle Frischkorn

AUGUST 7, 2017

Torrey Rodgers forges through the Panamanian rainforest, holding a bucket of rotting pork. The wildlife scientist is on a mission to collect flies—hundreds and hundreds of them, if he’s lucky. Far from jungle pests, he sees these buzzing, iridescent green insects as helpful lab assistants, ennabling him to take stock of the inhabitants of threatened rainforests around the globe.

One way to measure the health of a forest is to tally up its biodiversity, or the richness of plants and animals that teem within. Scientists embark on this kind of forest census to monitor poaching or chart the progress of conservation efforts. But rainforests pose a particular challenge: You have to trek miles through dense greenery, searching for elusive animals that may only come out at night and, oh yeah, they're full of things that can kill you.

That’s why it’s usually done by ecologists who are well versed in the jungle ecosystem and the fauna who live there. These zoologists know how to navigate the untamed land, accurately identify diurnal and nocturnal creatures and place covert camera traps to photograph the most elusive wildlife. The trouble is, these kinds of forest-trekking, fauna-knowing experts are as rare as the wildlife they track.

And without such a census, conservation efforts are futile. “Say you propose a nature reserve, and you put tons of resources into protecting this area...well did any of that actually work? Are we losing species or having a positive impact?” asks Rodgers, a research associate in Utah State University's Department of Wildland Resources.

That’s why Rodgers has enlisted some unlikely helpers to do his wildlife surveying for him: carrion flies. For these scavengers, the rainforest is a vast buffet, featuring dishes from carcasses to festering wounds on living animals to every imaginable type of poop. Every bite logs a distinct DNA sample of that meal in the flies’ guts, until it comes out the other end. Now, as Rodgers and his colleagues report in a recent study in the journal Molecular Ecology Resources, researchers can use that DNA to build a census of jungle’s most elusive mammals.

Owen McMillan, an evolutionary biologist at the Smithsonian’s Tropical Research Institute (STRI) in Panama who was a co-author on the study, recognizes that Rodger’s scheme to capture the diversity of an entire rainforest using only fly guts is unorthodox. “It may sound harebrained,” he says, “but it’s not if you think about the way these flies make a living.”

As airborne foragers, this family of flies can sample virtually any type of rainforest animal. Every organism’s DNA is present in all of its biological matter, from blood to poop, and provides an identifiable genetic marker. If researchers could somehow sample all the DNA within a rainforest, they’d have a complete picture of everything living there. “That’s where the flies come in handy,” Rodgers says. “They go out and do the sampling for us.”

In 2015, Rodgers journeyed down to Barro Colorado Island, a densely forested island in the middle of the Panama Canal, and put his fly survey idea to the test. He fashioned 16 simple fly traps out of two plastic water bottles, connected like an hourglass. Each one contained a morsel of pork as bait, which was kept mostly out of reach of the flies by a screen.

After a few unsuccessful trials, Rodgers learned that the flies were picky eaters. They preferred meat that had been left in the sun until it reached that sweet spot of just-rancid funk. “They’ll come to rotting meat really quickly,” he says, “I had to pre-rot it which was pretty disgusting.”

Once he had figured out the flies’ dietary preferences, the traps began filling up with imprisoned flies so quickly he had to empy them twice a day. Unfortunately for them, attempting to feast on the rotting pork would prove to be a fatal mistake: Rodgers brought them back to the lab, flash froze them, snipped them into chunks and ground them into a paste to enable extracting the DNA from within their guts.

To detect even the rarest animals in the flies' guts, he would need to use a DNA amplification technique to multiply special regions from only the ingested mammal cells. The goal was to pick out certain molecular markers, which are regions in the genome that serve as barcodes. Those short fragments can be matched against a database of over 5,000 mammals, and a smaller database of species known to exist on the island.

He collected more than 1,000 flies over the course of three months, amassing enough gut DNA data to compare against eight years of traditional surveys previously collected on the island. Just as Rodgers predicted, the flies got around; the researchers detected 20 mammal species, four birds species and one lizard species. “It was surprisingly accurate,” McMillan says. “At least as accurate as walking through the forest.”

Not only that, but the data was far richer than the previous surveys because DNA sequencing generates millions of data points. “You still have to filter out things that are essentially noise ... like pork,” McMillan says. But once filtered, the mammal DNA fragments amplified from fly guts closely mirrored the species composition expected in the rainforest on Barro Colorado Island.

There were, however, a few notable exceptions. Curiously, they didn’t find barcodes that matched the three most abundant mammals: there was no trace of the rodentine agouti, the raccoon-like white-nosed coati, or the brocket, which looks like a squat relative of deer. Rodgers believes this has to do with his lab assistants’ inherent bias. The agouti’s scat, for instance, isn’t particularly appetizing to flies. “It’s really hard and maybe more difficult and less appealing,” he says.

Conrad Gillett, an entomologist at the University of Hawai’i who also uses molecular techniques to study insect guts, agreed that that fly dietary habits could be a considerable bias. Other studies have used bugs like mosquitoes and dung beetles, Gillett’s insect of choice, and could be added to rainforest surveys to increase the diversity mammals detected.

Still, this is a quick and effective method for surveying diversity that could be employed in many environments, says Gillett. “It’s definitely something that’s worth investigating,” Gillett says. “Right now I’m not sure if [flies] can be relied upon exclusively for a survey, but as an adjunct, absolutely. It’s something that has to be considered.” The technique’s simplicity makes it even more appealing. “It’s just hanging pork in the forest,” McMillan says.

After trying this survey method in a well-studied forest, McMillan hopes the approach could be used in other settings where the fauna are still a mystery. This will present another challenge: Unlike on Barro Colorado, many forests are filled with animals that have yet to be named, let alone assigned a DNA barcode. But as DNA barcoding becomes more common and databases grow, researchers believe they’ll be able to detect even the rare species that are hard to track from a conservation perspective.

“Because Barro Colorado Island has been studied so well by so many scientists for so long, you can put it into the broader context,” McMillan says.

Better yet, there isn’t a threatened forest on Earth that doesn’t have flies. “This group of flies is present worldwide. They’re common in every single habitat,” Rodgers says. Thanks to these creative scientists and their harebrained idea, we may need to consider these ubiquitous insects as not merely pesky nuisances, but as valuable conservationists in their own right.

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northshoregadgets · 7 years ago

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What Causes Abnormal Dog Stool?

Did you know there are rating systems for the quality and consistency of dog stool? Becoming familiar with the normal consistency, texture and color of dog poop is one way of gauging a dog’s digestive health and recognizing when there might be a problem. There are a couple of different approaches and charts for measuring canine excrement. Popular charts issued by the Waltham Centre for Pet Nutrition and Purina describe similar ranges by shape and texture. The Waltham guide has nine categories and the Purina chart has the familiar seven-point scale.

Whether or not you use a scorecard to rate your dog’s dung, being aware of what’s normal for your dog can give you useful information to share with your vet in the event of troubling alterations, such as:

Diarrhea in dogs

Green dog poop, yellow dog poop or other unnatural dog poop colors

Blood in dog stool

Small, hard feces or constipation in dogs

Let’s look at some of the most common causes of abnormal dog stool!

Diarrhea in dogs

Diarrhea takes a number of forms, from loose stool that emerges long and snake-like to a messy puddle, and falls under two general categories, acute and chronic. Acute diarrhea in dogs is a sudden-onset condition, meaning that there is a rapid transition from solid, well-formed feces. To some extent, regularity is a function of maintaining habits, whether that’s being acclimated to a certain diet or a certain location.

Healthy stool varies in appearance from dog to dog. Photography via Wikimedia Commons.

Any abrupt change in a dog’s food can lead to an episode of acute diarrhea. It is recommended that any such change be managed over the course of several days, during which the new food is combined with the old, giving the dog’s digestive system time to adjust. Anxiety can also cause fecal disruptions; a dog who is not prepared or unused to car or air travel may experience short-term diarrhea as a response to stress. In situations where food or motion is the cause, regular consistency should return within a day or two.

When a dog experiences diarrhea on a regular basis over the course of two or more weeks, it is referred to as chronic diarrhea. Chronic diarrhea in dogs may indicate a number of potentially serious health issues, including organ dysfunction, parasites, and infection. Inflammation or irritation of key organs in the digestive tract, such as the liver, pancreas, or the intestines themselves, can cause extended periods of digestive upset. Chronic diarrhea also tends to present with additional symptoms or complications, such as vomiting, fever, weight loss, or abdominal pain.

Accidentally ingesting parasites or infectious agents can lead a dog to develop chronic diarrhea, and both are key reasons to keep your dog’s food and water dishes clean at home, and to pick up after your dog when you’re out in public. One of the most common parasites involved is the single-celled Giardia, which is found where infected feces contaminate and are ingested from a range of items, from grass to drinking water. Among infectious agents, parvovirus in dogs is particularly dangerous to puppies, and largely preventable with standard combo vaccines.

Green dog poop, yellow dog poop and other weird dog stool colors

Since there are so many potential causes of both acute and chronic diarrhea in dogs, it’s worth taking special note of the relative shape or shapelessness of the feces, as well as its content and color. When dogs poop, they’re not only excreting waste products and indigestible parts of food, but also eliminating internal waste. This internal waste includes dead red blood cells, which come out in feces in the form of bilirubin. In the process of digestion and excretion, bilirubin combines with bile, giving dung its typical brown color.

Sudden changes in dog poop color can be alarming. Photography by Joshua Ganderson on Flickr.

Discoloration in dog poop, particularly if the feces is yellow or green, can be caused by a variety of factors. Yellow stools that have a normal consistency and shape may indicate a simple short-term dietary shift. In cases like these, when things move too quickly through the digestive system to allow bilirubin to pass with feces, poop can take the yellowish tint of bile. Yellow poop can also be the result of liver, bile duct, or gallbladder problems. Green stool or dark green diarrhea may be a result of your dog eating too much grass or plant matter, or a result of ingesting a household toxin or rodenticide.

Dog pooping blood

As disconcerting as it can be to see your dog’s poop change colors, it is startling to witness an episode of hematochezia, or bloody dog stool. Here again, there is no easy answer, as the causes can range from eating a foreign object discovered in the litter bin to colon inflammation. The color of the blood can be an important indicator of the approximate area of the affliction; the more vivid the red, the more likely the source of the problem is in or near the colon. Darker, blacker blood indicates that the problem is higher in the digestive tract and has had time to be digested.

The amount of blood in the dog’s stool, as well as the relative consistency of the poop, are key signs in determining a course of action. For instance, a small streak of blood, seen once on an otherwise normally shaped piece of poop, but not afterward, could signify nothing at all. On the other hand, repeated incidents of bloody diarrhea in the course of a single day should certainly warrant a veterinary consultation. The more senior a dog, the more likely the cause is to be tumor-related; the younger the dog, the more likely the source of bleeding is parasitic.

Constipation in dogs

Any general overview of abnormal dog stool should take into account, not only degrees and colors of wet diarrhea, but also the appearance of small, hard poop. Since nearly 75 percent of normal dog poop is water, struggling to defecate, or producing dry stools with great effort, could be a result of dehydration. Dogs can become constipated by swallowing foreign objects, especially bones or hair. These items can also absorb available water and prevent normal poop formation.

If abnormal dog stool lasts more than a day or two, consult a vet. Photography by Shutterstock.

Regular exercise has an impact on normal stool formation and movement through the digestive system, as does a dog’s diet. Dogs who are overfed, or exclusively fed low-quality dry kibble, may be consuming more fiber and filler than their digestive systems can process. The longer a dog excretes dry feces, or none at all, the greater the chance that constipation can turn into obstipation. Obstipation occurs when difficulty defecating causes a logjam in the colon, and unmoved feces itself causes an intestinal blockage.

Is your dog’s poop normal or not?

It might sound unappealing, even repulsive, but regularly observing and cleaning up after your dog’s poop can be both intimate and comforting. The more familiar you are with the typical appearance and texture of your dog’s feces, the more aware you’ll be when it deviates from the norm. I admit to feeling a sense of satisfaction with my dog’s diet and exercise habits, and with myself as a dog owner, when she is in a good rhythm with her pooping.

Should you notice any of these changes in your dog’s feces for more than a day or two, resist the urge to treat your dog with human medications. Before you dose your dog with something as seemingly innocuous as Pepto-Bismol, consult your veterinarian. The more detail you can provide, including when the changes started and how long they’ve persisted, the better equipped your vet will be to diagnose and treat the underlying issue.

Read more about dog poop on Dogster.com:

13 Ways to Pick Up Dog Poop

All About Dog Gastrointestinal Issues — Diarrhea, Vomiting, Constipation and More

How I Taught My Dogs to Help Me Find Their Poop

About the author: Melvin Peña trained as a scholar and teacher of 18th-century British literature before turning his research and writing skills to puppies and kittens. He enjoys making art, hiking, and concert-going, as well as dazzling crowds with operatic karaoke performances. He has a two-year-old female Bluetick Coonhound mix named Baby, and his online life is conveniently encapsulated here.

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buynewsoul · 7 years ago

Text

What Causes Abnormal Dog Stool?

Diarrhea in dogs

Green dog poop, yellow dog poop or other unnatural dog poop colors

Blood in dog stool

Small, hard feces or constipation in dogs

Let’s look at some of the most common causes of abnormal dog stool!

Diarrhea in dogs

Healthy stool varies in appearance from dog to dog. Photography via Wikimedia Commons.

Green dog poop, yellow dog poop and other weird dog stool colors

Sudden changes in dog poop color can be alarming. Photography by Joshua Ganderson on Flickr.

Dog pooping blood

Constipation in dogs

If abnormal dog stool lasts more than a day or two, consult a vet. Photography by Shutterstock.

Is your dog’s poop normal or not?

Read more about dog poop on Dogster.com:

13 Ways to Pick Up Dog Poop

All About Dog Gastrointestinal Issues — Diarrhea, Vomiting, Constipation and More

How I Taught My Dogs to Help Me Find Their Poop

The post What Causes Abnormal Dog Stool? appeared first on Dogster.

0 notes

stiles-wtf · 7 years ago

Text

What Causes Abnormal Dog Stool?

Diarrhea in dogs

Green dog poop, yellow dog poop or other unnatural dog poop colors

Blood in dog stool

Small, hard feces or constipation in dogs

Let’s look at some of the most common causes of abnormal dog stool!

Diarrhea in dogs

Healthy stool varies in appearance from dog to dog. Photography via Wikimedia Commons.

Green dog poop, yellow dog poop and other weird dog stool colors

Sudden changes in dog poop color can be alarming. Photography by Joshua Ganderson on Flickr.

Dog pooping blood

Constipation in dogs

If abnormal dog stool lasts more than a day or two, consult a vet. Photography by Shutterstock.

Is your dog’s poop normal or not?

Read more about dog poop on Dogster.com:

13 Ways to Pick Up Dog Poop

All About Dog Gastrointestinal Issues — Diarrhea, Vomiting, Constipation and More

How I Taught My Dogs to Help Me Find Their Poop

The post What Causes Abnormal Dog Stool? appeared first on Dogster.

0 notes

daddyslittlejuliet · 7 years ago

Text

What Causes Abnormal Dog Stool?

Diarrhea in dogs

Green dog poop, yellow dog poop or other unnatural dog poop colors

Blood in dog stool

Small, hard feces or constipation in dogs

Let’s look at some of the most common causes of abnormal dog stool!

Diarrhea in dogs

Healthy stool varies in appearance from dog to dog. Photography via Wikimedia Commons.

Green dog poop, yellow dog poop and other weird dog stool colors

Sudden changes in dog poop color can be alarming. Photography by Joshua Ganderson on Flickr.

Dog pooping blood

Constipation in dogs

If abnormal dog stool lasts more than a day or two, consult a vet. Photography by Shutterstock.

Is your dog’s poop normal or not?

Read more about dog poop on Dogster.com:

13 Ways to Pick Up Dog Poop

All About Dog Gastrointestinal Issues — Diarrhea, Vomiting, Constipation and More

How I Taught My Dogs to Help Me Find Their Poop

The post What Causes Abnormal Dog Stool? appeared first on Dogster.

0 notes

jeffreyrwelch · 7 years ago

Text

What Causes Abnormal Dog Stool?

Diarrhea in dogs

Green dog poop, yellow dog poop or other unnatural dog poop colors

Blood in dog stool

Small, hard feces or constipation in dogs

Let’s look at some of the most common causes of abnormal dog stool!

Diarrhea in dogs

Healthy stool varies in appearance from dog to dog. Photography via Wikimedia Commons.

Green dog poop, yellow dog poop and other weird dog stool colors

Sudden changes in dog poop color can be alarming. Photography by Joshua Ganderson on Flickr.

Dog pooping blood

Constipation in dogs

If abnormal dog stool lasts more than a day or two, consult a vet. Photography by Shutterstock.

Is your dog’s poop normal or not?

Read more about dog poop on Dogster.com:

13 Ways to Pick Up Dog Poop

All About Dog Gastrointestinal Issues — Diarrhea, Vomiting, Constipation and More

How I Taught My Dogs to Help Me Find Their Poop

The post What Causes Abnormal Dog Stool? appeared first on Dogster.

0 notes

grublypetcare · 7 years ago

Text

What Causes Abnormal Dog Stool?

Diarrhea in dogs

Green dog poop, yellow dog poop or other unnatural dog poop colors

Blood in dog stool

Small, hard feces or constipation in dogs

Let’s look at some of the most common causes of abnormal dog stool!

Diarrhea in dogs

Healthy stool varies in appearance from dog to dog. Photography via Wikimedia Commons.

Green dog poop, yellow dog poop and other weird dog stool colors

Sudden changes in dog poop color can be alarming. Photography by Joshua Ganderson on Flickr.

Dog pooping blood

Constipation in dogs

If abnormal dog stool lasts more than a day or two, consult a vet. Photography by Shutterstock.

Is your dog’s poop normal or not?

Read more about dog poop on Dogster.com:

13 Ways to Pick Up Dog Poop

All About Dog Gastrointestinal Issues — Diarrhea, Vomiting, Constipation and More

How I Taught My Dogs to Help Me Find Their Poop

The post What Causes Abnormal Dog Stool? appeared first on Dogster.

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